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Sexual Tensions Erupt Among New Caprican Youth
War of Words Draws Attention Away From Missing Cylon Prisoner
By: Exxxclusive News
FIled: August 17, 18:41

Literary circles have exploded in a firestorm of wank, sparked by controversy over President Gaius Baltar's story "Six and Starbuck Enjoy Nature." In response, i_am_gaylactica (formerly i_am_gayta) claimed that the "experiences and desires" of gay men are "marginalized" because "boyslash is largely ignored." Pointing to a natural lack of demand, luvscylons argued that "the majority of Battlestar Galactica is straight dudes and total lesbos like Starbuck... they're not really going to be interested in guy-on-guy action," but i_am_gaylactica attributed this to "internalized homophobia" that keeps people like galactica_cag in the closet. Taking a different tack, topgun_eleventy insisted that "the real problem around here is str8 guyz who try 2 write girlslash!!!" while airlockluvr expressed concern about "the growing scism between lesbians and gay men in this community." On the other hand, mrlauraroslin wondered "why can't everyone just write genfic like me, and hug each other -- then they wouldn't have to be upset!" (this is apparently a regular activity of the Dead People Club). It remains to be seen if these rifts in our social fabric can ever be mended.

Meanwhile, there is conclusive evidence that Cylon prisoner sonotevil, who mysteriously disappeared from her cell on Galactica in April, was freed in a plot by her brethren sonotacylon and xx_luvrgrrl_xx. Members of new age Cylon faction Demand Love, Eight and Six have claimed that their only mission is to spread a message of peace and understanding on New Caprica. With this treasonous action, however, they show their true colors, proving that a zebra can't change its stripes. With secret weapon sonotevil concealed in an unknown hidey hole, one can only imagine what dastardly deeds they may be planning.

(Hear that, girls? You and your nauseating love crap are GOING DOWN! High five, xx_sexybitch_xx!!)
wait a minute, how do you know what Sharon's number is?