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Hi guys! I just wanted to let everyone know that i am okay and i'm sorry if i missed anything! I slit some guards' throats and bashed down a wall with my forehead had some free time and i was really hungry, so i went to the mess to go find some oreos, and then i got locked in the meat freezer! Apparently they don't have doorknobs inside! It really sucked but i am okay because i am made of metal i have a pretty high tolerance for cold.

ANYWAY i wanted to make a post about it to thank col. tigh for finding me! While i was in the freezer, i thought about how i might be locked in there forever and never see my beautiful helo again, and i started to cry and cry, and col. tigh thought it might be a puppy and he opened the door. Sorry i wasn't a puppy, col. tigh. I hope you and billy have fun on your puppy-finding expeditions in the future. Thanks so much!

xoxox Sharon
Sexual Tensions Erupt Among New Caprican Youth
War of Words Draws Attention Away From Missing Cylon Prisoner
By: Exxxclusive News
FIled: August 17, 18:41

Literary circles have exploded in a firestorm of wank, sparked by controversy over President Gaius Baltar's story "Six and Starbuck Enjoy Nature." In response, i_am_gaylactica (formerly i_am_gayta) claimed that the "experiences and desires" of gay men are "marginalized" because "boyslash is largely ignored." Pointing to a natural lack of demand, luvscylons argued that "the majority of Battlestar Galactica is straight dudes and total lesbos like Starbuck... they're not really going to be interested in guy-on-guy action," but i_am_gaylactica attributed this to "internalized homophobia" that keeps people like galactica_cag in the closet. Taking a different tack, topgun_eleventy insisted that "the real problem around here is str8 guyz who try 2 write girlslash!!!" while airlockluvr expressed concern about "the growing scism between lesbians and gay men in this community." On the other hand, mrlauraroslin wondered "why can't everyone just write genfic like me, and hug each other -- then they wouldn't have to be upset!" (this is apparently a regular activity of the Dead People Club). It remains to be seen if these rifts in our social fabric can ever be mended.

Meanwhile, there is conclusive evidence that Cylon prisoner sonotevil, who mysteriously disappeared from her cell on Galactica in April, was freed in a plot by her brethren sonotacylon and xx_luvrgrrl_xx. Members of new age Cylon faction Demand Love, Eight and Six have claimed that their only mission is to spread a message of peace and understanding on New Caprica. With this treasonous action, however, they show their true colors, proving that a zebra can't change its stripes. With secret weapon sonotevil concealed in an unknown hidey hole, one can only imagine what dastardly deeds they may be planning.

(Hear that, girls? You and your nauseating love crap are GOING DOWN! High five, xx_sexybitch_xx!!)
dude, like anyone cares about stupid boyslash!!! all u fruity mcfruitz can go write all the boyslash u want in ur little gay sekrit society where u dont have 2 read about PUSSY. the real problem around here is str8 guyz who try 2 write girlslash!!! their stories r not about grrrlz at all, cuz they have multiple orgasms if u just touch them, and r a big fat MALE FANTASY. let me show u how its done, SUCKAZ!!!!!!!!!

The Adventures of Admiral Pain (comes after Dog Pwns Everyone)
by Kat
betaed by i_pwns_you

lesbo communeCollapse )

OK, plz tell me if you liked it LOL!!!!!
well, it seems like the community of creative writers on livewireless is growing, and while that is wonderful for the community overall, I am concerned about one thing: boyslash seems to be invisible.

girlslash makes up the large majority of stories being posted, and garners quite a bit of discussion, but boyslash is largely ignored. what is it about boyslash the encourages this invisibility? frankly, I'm tired of my experiences and desires being marginalized.

I think we need to address what is going on here, and discuss the state of the boyslash community, because this is a very serious issue.
I was inspired by the President's very honest, very creative writing, and so I've decided to write something too.

Um, this is all fiction, of course, even though there is a character named Dee who looks just like Dee, and also a character named Laura Roslin who looks just like Former President Roslin.

A story!Collapse )
Well, citizens of New Caprica, it's been terribly quiet around here, what with sonotevil still missing, everyone busy moving about rocks like productive members of society, and so on. So all day long I sit in my Presidential office, gazing out the window upon the natural splendor of our beautiful homeland, and getting therapeutic massages from my, uh, Presidential aides. In order to stimulate my very formidable intellect, I have taken up a new hobby -- creative writing. For your edification, I hereby share with you my first effort.

Six and Starbuck Enjoy Nature
A Work of Erotic Fiction by Gaius Baltar, President of the Twelve Colonies of Kobol

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental.

the purity of the love between two womenCollapse )

We have lost our most valuable military asset? There is a possibly homicidal Cylon agent running amok around the Fleet? HOW THE FRAK DID SHE ESCAPE, PEOPLE?

I don't know how much more you can expect me to take. Did you forget I got shot and almost died? I'm an old man! I didn't ask to be in charge, but situations forced what situations force and here I am and am I shirking my duties? I think not! No! I am doing the best I can in this god awful situation. And then I come back from a nice night with airlockluvr to find out we have complete chaos on our hands! And my son suddenly got fat!

Sharon, if you can hear this, please come home. We miss you. Helo's acting like a pussy. We're really very sorry about your baby. We know you're hurting.

Everyone else, I expect this to be taken care of ASAP!

You let your guard down for one minute and hell breaks loose . . . damn children.
(i can hear them: come out come out wherever you are, just like the games we used to play as children back on troy.)

(but i escaped from their dirty little cell, well, alright, it's pretty big and they do keep it awful clean, and adama is pretty nice to me, but still, it's a cell and i had every right to escape.)

(i'm safe. for now. how did i do it? i'll never tell. or at least, not until luvscylons tickles it out of me.)
I resent the implication that I would be kidnap someone just to let them cuddle with Isis! I let sonotevil cuddle with Isis all the time already -- the guards just can't resist her perfect little button nose!
Poll #703821 Mystery on Galactica

who do YOU think freed or kidnapped cylon prisoner sonotevil from her cell?

luvscylons (her boyfriend, clumsily trying to cover his tracks)
topgun1111 (we all know they have a past)
teh_chief (well, ditto)
lovemebeatme (in an attempt to remove the competition)
daddyadama (revealing himself once and for all to be a big softie)
airlockluvr and/or i_pwns_you (lying bitches!)
assuredvictory (for leverage in future coup attempts)
mrnicegaius (who knows to what depths he would sink?)
colsaul and/or tighmeup (while drunk?)
preciousisis (because she wants to make sonotevil feel better by snuggling Isis)
sonotacylon and/or xx_luvrgrrl_xx (in love and solidarity with their kind)
yours truly (hey, it's news!)